September 13, 2025, should have been one of the happiest days of my life. Instead, it became the worst.
The day was supposed to be filled with sunshine, laughter, and new memories we would carry home and share with the people we loved.
The day before was our 38th wedding anniversary. We had arrived in Jamaica two days earlier, excited to explore the island, play golf, and celebrate our love and the life we had built together.
Our anniversary did not go exactly as planned, but it was still a beautiful day. We had the pool to ourselves for a couple of hours before heading out on a boat to snorkel for a while. Afterward, we returned to the pool to relax before getting ready for dinner.
Dinner was lovely. We dined at the resort's French restaurant, and the evening was quiet and romantic. The food was delicious, the wine was perfect, and the company was even better.
Our conversation that night centered on how thankful we were for one another and how our love had grown exponentially over the years. We acknowledged that our relationship had not always been easy. There were times when we could have given up, but we didn't. We agreed that our faith and our commitment to one another had always been greater than any differences or challenges we faced.
Enjoying our cozy little corner in the speakeasy
After dinner, we headed to the speakeasy for a nightcap. To our surprise, we had the entire place to ourselves. We ordered our drinks and found a cozy little corner with a loveseat, where we sat together for quite some time.
We laughed. We took selfies. We loved one another. We talked about our future and the family we had created together.
Eventually, we called it a night because the next morning would be an early one. We were taking a catamaran to Dunn's River Falls.
I have replayed that morning in my mind over and over again, but the outcome never changes.
We boarded the catamaran with the other guests—probably 60 to 80 passengers in all. It was a gorgeous morning. We thought we were heading directly to Dunn's River Falls, but the excursion included about 30 minutes of snorkeling first.
David looked at me and asked, "Do you want to snorkel?"
"We could give it a try," I replied.
He didn't care one way or the other. He simply wanted me to be happy, as he so often did.
Sometimes I wonder: What if I had said no?
Would he still be here today?
Would my daughters still have their dad? Would my grandchildren still have their Papi?
I know I cannot change what happened that morning. But I still find myself wondering whether the outcome would have been different if my answer had simply been, "No."
There are questions in this life for which we may never receive answers. There are moments we cannot understand, no matter how many times we replay them or how desperately we search for a different ending.
And that is where faith must enter.
"Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, and He will make your paths straight and smooth..."
— Proverbs 3:5–6, AMP
And I hold tightly to this promise:
"And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose."
— Romans 8:28, AMP
I do not yet understand how something so painful could ever be woven into something good. I may never fully understand it on this side of heaven. But I am learning that trusting God does not mean having all the answers. Sometimes, it simply means believing that He is still present when nothing makes sense—and trusting that He can see the entire story when I can only see the page I am living today.